Demanding Love
Everyone can relate to love. We love many people and things, including our loved ones, certain foods, pets, and various activities. Likewise, there are ideas we love and some not so much. In English, the word “love” describes how we might relate to any number of relationships, on many levels, with various people and things. However, there is something utterly unique about the kind of love we should practice as believers.
One thing that makes Christian love so special is that God commands us to do it. That tells us a lot about this unique kind of love. No one commands us to love our kids and grandkids; we just do. Many different types of love, like romantic love, come somewhat naturally. But you won’t find a card section in the Hallmark store around Valentine’s Day marked: “For those you’re commanded to love.”
Since God commands us to love, it tells us it is an indispensable quality for members of God’s family. The “Greatest Commandment” (Matthew 22:37-39) is about loving God and your neighbor. To be considered an obedient disciple, we are obliged to comply. Blatant disobedience of this primary command even calls our assurance of salvation into question (1 John 2:3).
Because loving our neighbor is a command, as with all of God’s commands, we have the choice to obey or not. But God has not commanded us to have familial love, love our pets, or love pizza. However, to be a follower of Christ, we must “put on love” (Colossians 3:14). We choose to do it, whether we like the person or not. Jesus went so far as to say, “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
If you wait until you can naturally love your neighbor as you love your loved ones, you’ll likely never be able to obey God’s command to love. C.S. Lewis wrote,
Do not waste your time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor, act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. —C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Although it is a conscious choice to follow God’s command to love, it isn’t just a matter of willpower. It is an impossible directive to follow in the flesh. Unless one is regenerated by a relationship with Christ and empowered by the Holy Spirit, this kind of love does not exist. Agape love is unique to the New Testament. J.I. Packer explains:
Agape draws its meaning directly from the revelation of God in Christ. It is not a form of natural affection, however intense, but a supernatural fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). It is a matter of will rather than feeling (for Christians must love even those they dislike—Matt. 5:44-48). It is the basic element in Christlikeness. —J.I. Packer
It might be discouraging to consider the prospects of adhering to this challenging commandment to love. It gets depressing if you believe God demands instantaneous change. But like the other aspects of becoming more like Jesus, the transformation happens over time. It is a process, and you are not alone in it. However, it doesn’t happen at all if we don’t do our part.
“The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him.” –1 John 2:9-10