Love As God Does
5 Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman that has become a classic for helping married couples understand their unique ways of feeling loved. If you know how your spouse best receives love, you can find ways to demonstrate love in their “language.” I recall learning about and teaching the languages from early in my ministry. They include words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Wendi and I determined early on which of the languages most made us each feel loved. But how does one prefer communicating love to the other? When we look at the Bible, God has a language for communicating His love. It’s on Chapman’s list. Do we love in that way?
God expresses love through giving (we are the beneficiaries by receiving gifts). He gives, gives generously, gives sacrificially, and He loves to give: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” …. “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (John 3:16; 1 John 3:16).
Can we love as God does? Of course, we don’t have as much to give, but that’s not the idea. Most, if they suddenly found themselves with unlimited funds, would seek varying degrees of self-indulgence. Indeed, we’ve heard the stories of lottery winners who have done just that. Often, it doesn’t work out as they had hoped. We weren’t meant to consistently self-indulge, no matter how blessed we are with abundance.
The people I had the privilege of serving in Uganda this past spring possessed virtually nothing compared to us. Some lived in thatch huts, had no car, running water, or electricity. Yet, they exuded the joy of the Lord and were exceedingly generous with what they had. I have met few people more loving. This generosity conveyed the love of God
Erwin W. Lutzer, author, and pastor wrote, “Those who give much without sacrifice are reckoned as having given little.” Of course, many people will give and even give very generously if they can be recognized and rewarded for their giving. Anything from a pat on the back to a plaque prominently placed in their honor will motivate them to give. But how many will give when it means little more than sacrificing something, even at a high cost, and receiving virtually nothing in return, at least not in this world? You’ve likely rarely even heard of those people. But that’s the point.
Human nature leads us to calculate how we might participate in giving without really giving up anything significant. “How can I appear giving without making it uncomfortable for me?” we may ask. As a result, giving becomes anything but sacrificial. Then the gifts of most givers consist only of expendable leftovers, the release of which is sure to cause no discomfort. Painless giving becomes the goal. Of course, easy giving is better than no giving, but where would we be without those who have suffered much in their extreme acts of generosity?
It’s impossible to love as God loves without giving generously and sacrificially. As you know, we can’t match His giving, but we can imitate it. He set the pattern. As the song says,
How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
“But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?” ─1 John 3:17