Miracle Marriage
It used to be fun to teach on topics like marriage. You could assume general similarities between married couples. You might have some fun referencing the stereotypical roles occupied by husbands and wives. Humorous illustrations abounded. Some of the most popular and successful Christian speakers spoke exclusively on the topic. Churches, conferences, and camps clamored to get these speakers at their events.
As a youth pastor, my talks on “Sex and Dating” were sure to pack them in. There were certain assumptions about relationship boundaries, appropriate behavior between teens, and moral norms. One could communicate biblical standards as a corrective to errant choices and actions without a second thought. Kids grew up in a culture with a general biblical frame of reference. There was still a “blush factor” when it came to discussing male-female relationships. It was impossible to be so overexposed to sensual content. It’s not that simple anymore. I feel a bit sorry for those who take on youth ministry today.
Having been a Bible-teaching pastor in ministry for over four decades, I’ve seen our culture grow in its intolerance of biblical principles. There are specific passages that I almost cringe at the thought of having to teach. The whole area of biblical morality is becoming less politically correct with each generation. The concept of “sin” is challenging to convey to a culture that increasingly questions objective moral standards. There are very few aspects of society not affected by this rejection of right and wrong.
The redefining of what is appropriate speech and behavior has led to upending our most treasured human institutions. These would include but are not limited to marriage, family, and gender definitions. All of these have one thing in common: God clearly defines them in His Word. Imagine being a pastor communicating the truth of scripture concerning the biblical roles of husbands and wives while thinking about the hate mail coming because of your “bigoted and intolerant view” of males, females, gender identity, sexual orientation, marriage, submission, etc.
1 Peter 3:1-7 is excellent teaching for husbands and wives. But I was looking it over today and referenced a commentary I use often. The commentary was obviously written many decades ago since the author wrote seemingly so casually: “A wife is to accept her place in the family under the leadership of her husband, whom God has placed as head in the home.” He goes on to say, “the husband’s responsibility is to protect and care for his wife.” Imagine saying those things out loud in front of an average audience today! Put that on your social media page, and you may get canceled. The rate of change around us seems exponential, but God’s Word hasn’t changed.
Truth can be awkward. It can be uncomfortable to teach and more awkward to apply. Most people, even Christians, are content to comply with the standards of the prevailing culture. They don’t want to stand out. When you live by biblical standards, you stand out—blending in means compromise. Light cannot “blend in” with darkness. A biblical marriage will seem strange, perhaps feel awkward, and stand out more today than ever, like an ancient relic.
Discomfort in the practical application of our faith is not a bad thing. Comfort is not the goal of following Christ. We shouldn’t feel comfortable that we’ve arrived in the practice of our faith or with fitting into the culture around us. This principle of uncomfortable Christianity applies to marriage.
We’re all warned that “marriage takes work.” It does. The basic idea of becoming one with another person and making a life together usually leads to issues requiring effort to overcome. Add to that the biblical marriage principles that the media mocks and culture rejects, and the struggle intensifies.
Because it seems impossible, many give up on marriage. Success is only possible with God’s help. It can even require a miracle. Over my years of working with couples, I’ve seen the miracles firsthand. It provides proof that even in marriage, “With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27).
“But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
—Mark 10:6-9