Something Rare for Fathers
Our kids are adults now. They all know Christ and have good jobs. The eldest two are married to great, believing spouses. Our two grandkids have great parentage in my eldest, Brooke and husband, Nathan. Our youngest is single.
The blessing of having kids out of the nest and thriving is immeasurable. I often say that God has done this despite my lame parenting. But with God’s help, we did OK. Wendi has been the faithful prayer warrior, praying those spouses into the lives of Brooke and Spencer. Elise’s future spouse, whoever he is, is a marked man.
My kids still ask me each year what I want for Father’s Day. Since it’s this Sunday, they’ve been asking. The gifts marketed to dads are usually aimed at typical hobbies (golf accessories, fishing gear), their productivity around the house (power tools), or what they wear (ties, shirts and socks). So, if I had to pick something tangible, I guess I’m leaning toward some sort of power tool.
But what us dads really want from their kids are the intangibles. Most long for the kind of integrity I see in my kids. I don’t remember being that integrous at their age. It’s one gift I sincerely wanted from them and hope they always practice.
If anything is lacking in our world today, it is integrity. In my lifetime I have watched the importance of integrity evaporate. It’s very hard to find. I’ve seen stories lately of people and events that are completely misportrayed, on purpose. There was a time when you could count on people who are paid to factually report the news to have integrity. It doesn’t seem so now. Much of the reporting is purposeful, agenda-driven misinformation. No wonder they call it “fake news.”
The truth has become a matter of subjective opinion. Not just in the news, but in society. What counts is what one feels, regardless of what the truth actually is. Never mind that they’re literally lying. If they repeat it often enough, they know many will believe it. It seems there is no longer any shame in the lie, regardless of how plainly dishonest it is. The only shame is in having the gall to point the finger at the liar.
You may recall the woman who insisted she was African-American although her ancestry demonstrated its impossibility. She was 100% Caucasian. But she had no shortage of defenders. They argued her genetics didn’t matter as long as she chose to identify as something she wasn’t. They came up with a new name to legitimize her false claim. They called her “transracial.” With such absurdity being acceptable, is it any wonder integrity is an extremely rare commodity?
As the benefits grow and the liabilities shrink for dishonesty, being the kind of parent who teaches one’s children integrity, makes one part of an ever-shrinking, very exclusive, unpopular club. More likely than not, being part of the integrity group means you will be labeled a “hater” while the integrity-challenged bunch are treated like heroes. Don’t be too discouraged about being in the minority. Biblical integrity ultimately answers to only one Judge.
So, Dads, maybe when your kids ask you what you want for Father’s Day, tell them you want them to have something very rare and highly valuable: integrity. But don’t just say it, live it out before them. Thankfully, my dad did that for me and I’ve tried to do the same, as a gift for my kids. They’re returning the favor now. And that makes for a very Happy Father’s Day.
“A righteous man who walks in his integrity—How blessed are his sons after him.” ─Proverbs 20:7